Patience is a Virtue

I ALWAYS (for the most part at least) act off of instinct. If I had some type of patience with myself I'd probably be normal. But who wants to be normal...I wouldn't have anything to blog about lol. But anyways I had another self-check today that sometimes I should just shut the hell up, sit back and wait. But, I'm so impatient it will never work. I'm spoiled and I can openly admit. I always get what I want within context of course. I'm not a rich brat or anything (far from it) but my parents make sure I have whatever I want. SO I grew up with this mentality and inherited that get it by any means necessary mentality. I love it cause I always end up happy but of course it comes attached with undue stress. Would that be a balance? I think so! I just have to take yoga or something to keep me grounded. GREAT!!
So in the end I didn't get played I just had to be patient and guess what...HONEST...and I got what I wanted. I hope it's what I wanted!! You never know with me though. I'm really going to write a book when I get older. The world needs to know my inner struggles...cause I know there's someone out there who thinks just like me they just haven't realized it haha.

*Update*
I finished my New Years outfit..fierce...I love it!!! You'll love it too...pics soon haha!!

HANGOVER!!!

You know how you can feel a hangover coming!! I hate that shit...before you drift off into that deep, drunk, I'm not waking up for a while sleep you know your gonna wake up with a stomachache. So maybe if I DON'T go to sleep I won't have a hangover. Did you ever think about that lol. I'm trying it...prolly won't work. I've been listening to music...chatting on facebook 5 a.m. in the morning lol, and online shopping. What am I going to do with my life. I'm really stressed world. I mask it with little minute problems. Honestly, I do when I really think about it. Guys stress me obviously (the last blog) but I have to make a couple of serious decisions to make in the next couple of weeks and I am really scared. I don't want to make the wrong decision. Like this is my future. Why can't it just make sense. For once, can Jasmine's life just flow coherently without fuck-ups and setbacks (just once please)!!!

It Was Going to Happen Sooner or Later!!

It happened!!!! I got played. I'm typing right now after two full cups of absolute and orange juice. I'm feeling some type of way right now. (Let me just tell you these first two lines took 5 minutes to type because I'm fucked up lol) Buy anyway...I kept telling myself don't get emotionally attached..do you and be HEARTLESS!! Kanye spoke to me this semester on some real shit lol!!! But HE got through...Man got through. The one that I really liked...the one that I wanted to go with without the whole marriage attachment (if you've been reading my blog you will know what I'm talking about). But, I spoke my mind finally, and was completely honest. AND HE TOLD ME THE TRUTH!!! He said we should just be friends lol. That shit fucked with my mind because I didn't want to hear it lol. (I put lol to lighten up the situation)I told him I wasn't going to keep bothering him because I really hate looking beat but fuck I really liked the nigga!!! Like I didn't love him...I liked him and that's coming a long way from where I was a couple of months ago. So I'm speaking my mind...I'm pissed as hell...I'm hurt...I'm venting. But I can't let myself stay on it for long. Why?! Cause I'll dwell on it too long and my complexes will come out lol. So I'll just keep venting to my blog and my friends and move on. Besides I'm a G!!! I take what life gives me and keep it moving!! (Haha once again I'm venting...I really don't want to move on but the single lady inside is screaming so move on I must!!)

*New Years is approaching watch out...cause I have my outfit ready and it's fierce!!!* See you soon!!!

Spelman...thy name we praise!!!

I've been dealing with this dilemma for the past couple of months now...and now it's turned into a life or death situation. Not really lol...but a serious matter nonetheless. I MIGHT NOT BE GOING BACK TO SPELMAN NEXT SEMESTER!!! Horrible I tell ya. I'm really sad about it...kinda...I'm so confused...all these emotions and feelings got a girl completely stressed. Like I love Spelman. I LOVE SPELMAN!!! Ask anyone around me I might get annoyed every now and then but, I'm graduating from that school. Walking through the arch and everything lol. My daughters are going to Spelman the whole enchilada. Why you ask? Why is that serious? Cause I perceived it in my head already...that 's why dammit. But anyway, I'm blaming it on Bush, the financial situation regarding school has taken a toll on my college matriculation. I watched numerous friends and heard stories all semester of people going home because loans got dropped, jobs were lost, and all that horrible stuff. FUCK YOU BUSH!!! Then it hit me...OMG!!! I'm taking it like a G tho...I'm a ride it out. Most likely I'll finish my core classes at a county school...then get back on track junior year in the A. Part of me is actually a little happy I get to stay home...I get really homesick out of nowhere haha. But, I can already see by March I'm a be pissed at the world cause I want to go back. However, I must not dally or fuss because I'm a woman on a mission, and I can't let a little detour hold me back.

Good Times

Hope everyonehad a wonderful Christmas. I DID!!! This was my first Christmas in a long time that I haven't had a special someone...and I found out that family will gladly replace and surpass the feeling you get on Christmas. I have come to the conclusion that my family is the shit. Haha!! Really tho...I can talk to them about anything. We drink together, smoke together (people would probably not agree with that but its cool lol), laugh together, and hold nothing back. Yesterday was a prime example!!
But let me say, we are not a bunch of bums lol. I was rereading what I wrote and that can sound pretty deceiving. We all have jobs, make our money, stay on our grind, and make shit happen lol. Don't sleep on it. Thanks!!
Jumping ot another topic however, with this new found me I have been safely putting myself out on the line when it comes to guys. I had a conversation with Man last night and I said some things that will probably spark a heated discussion later on in the near future. I'm trying to stay level-headed in the situation and not get caught up but I'm starting to like him and my emotions are kind of acting all wacky. I hate this shit honestly. Like all the butterflies and that good stuff have faded lol...a sign that a girl has passed the infatuation stage haha. But, I'm approaching this situation with precaution...WHY...because I refuse to get played and I told him that. Was I wrong? I don't think so, I was being completely honest. We'll see what happens?!?! Anywho...New Years is coming up I'm not making any resolutions for the first time...I'm starting today. I'm just going to continue being me...YAY...I don't think I will fail at this one...and this will be the first resolution I follow through with!!! Go me!!!

I took a picture of my new haircut (with the extensions of course lol) and this is how it came out!! You like!!

Well if you did sorry, but it's gone, after alot of this


and this lol...

I had to take it out. DAMNATION!!!

Ahhh...Snow!!!

It's snowing!!! I must admit it feels good to wake up and see a perfectly clean white blanket of snow outside. Then it all goes downhill when you have to get out of bed, and clean off your car to go pick up your little siblings because school let out early. WTF!!! But I did it and I'm home and bored because why...snow prohibits you from moving around freely. What is there to do when it snows?
I've decided to don snow as an oxymoron; it's pretty as hell and makes you feel all warm and fuzzy when your inside a house, but when you go outside it becomes the spawn of Satan. GREAT!!! So I shall stay inside.
I'll probably have twelve more blogs up because if it. I also will be constantly reminded that my camera is broke and I am a lost soul without it. SInce I've been home there have been about twenty occassions for me to take pictures...but I didn't...because I'm cameraless. I got a new haircut and stuff...couldn't even post that. Life sucks!! Good thing Chrsitmas is around the corner. Now I can get the pink camera I've always wanted lol. Good shit!!!

Honestly Speaking

I'm watching Freedom Writer's right now...and I love the feeling I get from watching it. I absolutely love movies that touch a certain spot in my body that reminds me that I have a purpose in life. Deep down inside I have a strong urge to truly promote change in the world. I am overly sensitive about people and their situations in life. Although I may come off as a bitch; I know I do sometimes, but I have one of the biggest hearts in the world. That's why I get hurt so easily. But yeah, this movie is spectacular in my eyes. Hilary Swank epitomizes what I want to do in life. I love children, and I love helping people, it is my absolute passion in life. I mean, I have my big career goals; Doctorate in psychology, owning my own psychology practice, event planning and all that fun stuff. But, I know deep down inside if I only got my Master's and taught students in a classroom and caused change I'd be satisfied with life. Yeah, I like money, I love shopping, but for some reason I don't go to bed as happy after I've shopped all day compared to when I volunteered with children, and made someone smile who forgot what it felt like. It's such an exhilarating feeling!!
Due to unforeseen circumstances however; too many drunken nights, busy days trying to create a life fit for a college student, chasing unwanted love, and running away from a love I couldn't handle anymore I kind of lost my vision. College is so weird..like you're there to do what you want yet you get sidetracked and your vision gets altered. I plan on staying on track though. I'm starting y being a mentor next semester. I feel if I keep myself surrounded by my goals I won't stray away from it. Great start Jasmine!!!
And as for the earlier post today I'm too pretty to be bitter. I know deep down inside I'm going to RUN INTO the person I should be with. So, once again I'm not looking, just living and learning. Come find me...later on in life!!!

I Should've Cheated

I hate how shit always comes up out of the blue and fucks up how far you've come from getting over a situation. I have come so far in getting over the fact that my ex cheated on me. My emotions are strong, persistent, but also very fragile. I was fucked up over the situation.
He cheated the summer before we got to college, I found out the end of the first semester, and we broke up the beginning of our sophomore year. I realized today I'm still not over it. I'm actually really bitter about it in a secretive way. No one would ever realize that they hurt, but I'm human and in fact get hurt a lot, and I'm starting to become more open about it.
So how do I feel? Honestly, speaking if I ever ran into any of the GIRLS...yes girls...I will still fight them. Not because they are at fault which they weren't because they didn't know about me until he was about to conveniently leave them and be with me, but because it will make me feel better, and in my eyes I am the only person that matters in the situation. I fought him already, maced him actually, and I'm still pissed. Why? The girls are still in the picture. Even though I don't know to what extent it still hurts like shit.
Being the psych major I am I know why which makes it a little easier for me to cope with. I had, have, always will have trust issues. I just do, that guard that everyone puts up to keep from getting hurt, my shit is impenetrable. But he got through. How I have absolutely no idea, but I will find out lol. Then he fucked me up. (I curse a lot when I'm speaking of real, true feelings about myself...I apologize if your offended) I've been cheated on before...which honestly I just don't understand...like I really don't...and up until now I haven't come up with any possible explanation but greed...absurd. I'm venting now...listen if you want. =) But really, I cook, I'm clean, never been pregnant, no STD's (nor have I ever had one), I'm pretty, smart, confident, easy to talk to, open about pretty much anything (except cheating), I can hold my own, I'm good in bed lol (might sound skanky but honestly we all know that it matters so hell...I'm good and I know it), the list goes on and they are all honest, true characteristics. Yet, you still feel the need to stray away from the goodness you had. Hmppphhhh...I just don't understand?!
Thanks for letting me vent...but back to the complexities of my mind. After I found out, I was left with nothing to hold on to because as you remember my guard was down and somewhere chilling with my feet...nowhere near my heart where it should have been. You know how your mind and heart feel different things...I struggle with that everyday. It should be an illness honestly...so for my heart's stupid actions, my mind has to teach it a lesson. So I feel the need to accurately depict every action, thought, interruption with my phone calls and texts to know what he did that entire summer. Fucked up isn't it? Now I have these vivid accounts of sex in the back of the car, and "caking" put in to fuck these bitches. Like really tho? BETRAYAL to the fullest.
I want to say whatever but we all know that would be a lie, I'll probably never get over it, but it's getting a little easier to deal with. I'm a fantasy thinker...like I honestly want a fairytale ending in life, and I found it with him. I probably could have still had it had I stayed with him. But, when I perceived it in the beginning it didn't involve him cheating on me, so I couldn't stay.
I must say that although I'm hurt and all that stuff...I don't hold guys accountable for past people's faults...GREAT...anymore cause I don't feed into the hype that all men are dogs; they really aren't. They just have fucked up control issues lol. If they get that in tact women and men would be at peace.

It Feels Good to be Here!!!

I'm home!!! Well, not exactly but I'm in Jersey at Vicky's in Princeton. After a 13 hour drive we reached her hizouse yay!!! I must say this was an exciting road trip. I have to first start by admitting I have the worst geographical skills in the world. I excel at giving and taking directions, remebering how to get places (by landmarks) but don't ask me where a place is in relation to somewhere else. You will think I'm stupid in all aspects of life. Not good!!! So anyway to get home from the A, I don't take the traditional I-95. By taking a series of other highways, I take about an hour to reach the Field. WESTFIELD!!! But, since Vicki lived in Princeton it threw us a little out of the way. Haha!!! But, it was cool we can read maps and stuff (shoutout to Jade lol) so we got us a handy road map, and off we were...speeding down the highway. Onyx was on his shit...I pulled 115 for the first time, thank you very much.
But, yeah the road trip was superb, we even stopped to eat at Golden Corral...SUCCESS...and to top it off..guess what?! They had cheddar biscuits. What the f*$#!!! Yes, and they were on Red Lobster's status. I almost fell out my chair. But, let me point out that Vicky and I noticed that we looked really out of place in Virginia. It was like we were in a time warp that had us stuck in 1995 because everyone looked real bland and stuff. We were in there with our skinny's and Spelman attire (representing) with our slouchy boots thanks to Macy's and we were getting weird looks despite the farmish attire surrounding us. But nonetheless, I'll take the food, not the clothes and keep it moving. Great!!!!
So yeah I'm here...about to surprise my mommy and go home early. It's going to be great. Don't you just love when you come home and everyone misses you and you're a star for about a day lol. Good stuff...at least in my eyes...you know I'm spoiled. But, more to come later...shower time!!!

Katt...No!!!

I absolutely love Katt Williams. Like that nigga really is the shiiitt!! I love to laugh...and he has always made me do that. I realize people retire eventually...but got damn how do you retire from being funny? I just don't get it... =( Katt don't leave...not right now anyway...let me graduate first!!!

A Perfect Imperfection

I've realized this past week...finals week by the way...that I am a really indecisive person when it comes to guys. Like I really am, and I started my self-evaluation by admitting my problem. I have this really weird complex with "liking" someone, and "liking the idea" of someone. I've had a lot of run ins with guys this semester, and I thought I liked them...but soon realized that I only like the "idea" of them. Simply, put there nice guys, wonderful characteristics, we look good together and all of that good stuff, but I don't actually like them. I just like the idea of us together. Sad isn't it? I told you before I'm the most complicate dhonest young lady you would ever meet. So, after pondering for many hours, days, whatever I realized I lonly actually like 2 people. All the others, well, they're cute and all but nothing could ever be.
One person in particular I'm actually really glad I don't like him...I don't have to deal with the drama that surrounds him. Wonderful!!! De-dramatizing Jasmine's life always wonderful in my book!!!
I'm spending my last couple of hours in the A...but I'm eager to leave and get to spend some much needed time with one of the 2 that I actually like. As for the other one, Georgia shall be on my mind nonetheless. I really am a perfect imperfection!!! Gotta love it!!!

Don't You Hate Iit When....

One of my biggest pet peeves in the world is when you politely inform a dude your not interested...politely mind you...and he doesn't get the picture. I HATE IT!!! With an almighty passion. Like my blood starts to boil, and it gets really hot all of a sudden. I can feel my blood pressure rising (not a good look by the way) and then I go off. Honestly, I 'm a really sweet girl, I really am, but it's always that one dude that makes Jasmine act really hood. Why should I have to threaten to bust your shit open when I told you to stop before. But, they just don't understand...and I shall have to keep my hood mentality on stand-by...

As I'm writing this he has finally fallen into a drunken slumber and my friends are playing tricks on him...priceless got to love it!!! =)

In My Zone

Dancing. I love it. I really do. It's such an exhilarating feeling to be on the floor and let the music take you away. I might look pretty scandalous on the floor, but honestly, it's like a drug for me. Give me a little drank lol, and when my song comes on I just go. I start of with this little rock or sway if you will. It's real slow, kinda hood honestly lol, but that's how I start.

My friends and I were in the car today talking about this weekend, and they always hate on me about the way I dance. Due to the fact that I am not a hoe, a whore, or any of those other horrible words, I can openly admit that I dance pretty sexually. I've realized that because we listen to reggae up north my dancing reflects it, but when I come down here in the A I look a bit oversexed. I can deal with it...why...cause I have fun. I don't believe in going to a party, and limiting myself. It just doesn't make sense to me. So I dance.

I'm writing this blog in pain actually because I was dancing the other night. I really go hard, to the point my muscles get tight lol. But, it's all for the good...because once again I'm Doing Me Regardless!!! Dancing is my zone...so don't interrupt just enjoy!!!

Heartless

Yeah, my life is pretty much overlydramatized to the point I just don't understand it sometimes. When I look at my life I have to sit and just laugh sometimes. Haha!! Otherwise, I'd probably go crazy. So, besides the other unexplainable events that unfolded this weekend lmao, this dude made an entrance into my life so abruptly he has pissed me off in 1,000 ways. So, now he is getting put on BLAST!!!! I won't release his name...but you know who you are. However, I will point out to any guys reading this...what I am about to inform you of don't do it if you ever want a chance of getting with a girl. A girl of substance for that matter...cause some girls probably would like the attention.

Firstly, don't send random messages on facebook. This is some honest stuff, even though I usually do reply to my messages but it is just because I am a nice person...if I am short with my answers and don't offer any chance to start another conversation, that is just my politeness...it means that I don't want to talk to you. So don't keep sending messages every other day. It's pretty annoying.

Secondly, if you see me at a party and I am working it on the dance floor, which I always do by the way lol, don't pull me away to have a conversation. I didn't come to the party to talk to anyone, let alone you, so leave me alone and let me do my thing on the dancefloor.

Thirdly, do not proceed to give me a lap dance if it looks like I'm not enjoying it. I'll be honest I laugh at inoportune times; lap dances is one of them. If I'm laughing that means I'm enjoying it I just laugh to make myself comfortable. However, if my lips are poked out and I have a stern look on my face, no I am not REALLY into it or something; I want you to remove your body from mine but your to heavy for me to get away so I just sit there and look disgusted.

Fourthly (is that a word lol), it is now, don't text my friend and have a conversation about some non-existent relationship we could possibly have. Not cool at all!!

So yeah, basically, don't judge me or be angry I'm a cool girl but I'm honest and some people can't handle it. My feelings come first, because I am the keeper of my own happiness. I can not rely on a guy to supply my happiness anymore, they can only add to it if they please. I'm content with myself, I'm confident in my self, and if I come off as a bitch I really do apologize, but the way I see it, I have a lot to offer, so I should be allowed to pick what I want. Wouldn't you agree?
For the mister, I am a very independent person and I thrive off of myself honestly. I love a lot because basically I am the only person that hasn't let me down. I am really scared of smuggling, it's like I can't breathe or something. My emotions have the ability to change drastically, I can love you one day, and by the next week I'm ready to be ALONE!!! Complicated I know, but I'm finding myself remember, it's on my header.

I know some people are reading this and are thinking about me in disgust. I really don't care. But thanks for reading. =)

Cameraless!!!

I shoud be studying for my 10:30 a.m. final tomorrow, but I haven't even cracked my book open yet. Damn!!! Sooner or later this my crazy life is going to crash...sounds really demeaning...but I mean I have to face the facts. I party every weekend...well mostly every weekend...and school only gets hard about 3 times out of the month. It's pretty nice for me, but it just doesn't make sense. But honestly, I'm a just ride this bitch till the wheels fall off cause I'm enjoying it for now. What I do not enjoy however is that I have been cameraless since homecoming. My facebook albums have come to a screeching halt and I'm going through withdrawal. I love pictures...I want memories of my life and I can't accomplish that goal with out my beloved camera. Oh!!! That is all I want for Christmas (and to pay off my Victoria's Secret credit card...it's fun to be an angel but damn they always come out with something that I feel I must have and then I swipe!!!) This is why I must succeed in life...I love to shop. Ughhh!!!! But back to my camera...I want one and I shall get it soon enough...and then you can see more of me...GREAT!!!

Goofy and Pluto

Last night was pretty eventful. After a day of sleeping and redying my hair...FINALLY...I was looking cute and ready to go. So I went to the Glee Club party. Do not laugh or snicker cause I'm giving that party an A in delivery and substance. I was oh so surprised of what went down. I was very skeptical at first, didn't think much was going to happen. But, by 1 a.m. it was already going down. Gay, straight, round, and square, everyone was getting it in. I had so much fun lol. Sweated (that's my word if you try me too; sweated lol) my hair out; Vicki's actually flat-ironing it as I type...good looks Vicki-Sec's =). But, anyway like I said I would do last week I was able to give her her Christmas gift early. Yay me!! But, oh did it backfire...like hell. To the fullest....lmao! Pluto and Goofy are characters...and a certain someone who will remain nameless is on our shit list...he'll never know who he is but oh damn you and your forgetful ass. It was actually very funny...but not while the events were unfolding. We both were caught off guard...and quite talkative on the ride home and also really glad that we are cool enough to laugh shit off and take the loss like women....GREAT!!!

But on a personal level, I realized I am a really cool girl. Pluto and I had a sleepover lol and I realized things could have gotten pretty ugly...but Pluto is just that cool and so am I so I couldn't let it go down like that.

DOING ME REGARDLESS!!! and enjoying every minute of it... I love college and all it's little quirks and crevices ♥

Can I Live

I discovered this guy about a month ago. I was driving to South Carolina to visit the padre and g-ma and I had SIRIUS on. (Ford hooked me up with that 6 month subscription; it's over now lol) But, anyway Eminem has his own station on their and on Tuesday's and Thursday's these two white girls have a show. There real quirky, freaky, open, and they seem cool as shit lol. I already dropped a note about that open business. DOING ME REGARDLESS!!! But, on that particular night Josh X-an-tus (weird a little lol; but unique nonetheless) was being interviewed. He's on Jadakiss's song let's ride if you want to hear a "popular" song. He was cool as shit, he's 22, doing his thing in the business, focused, no kids or anything, but he's a dog lol and he's not quite the looker. Actually, he may not be a dog, but their discussion was real raunchy and he was talking about his sex life, and his partners, and all his dirty stuff and how it inspired his new album "Can I Live". I was laughing the whole way down the road. So, I summed him up as a pretty interesting guy. He can play the piano (I likey), and he's and ok singer, but the lyrics make up for it haha. This is one of his songs "In Love With Two"; I don't know if it's the first single but whatev's enjoy!!!

A Breath of Fresh Air

I was flat ironing my hair today and decided to turn on MTV U. The only time I ever watched that channel was when I was downstairs in Clark's caf. Haven't been there in a MINUTE lol!!! But anywayz after hearing a hour worth of foreign white songs, this guy named Shad came on. I have never heard of him, nor heard his song. I liked it tho. A lot, it was simple, good message, no video girls, real nice. Like a breath of fresh air in all this booty meat that's on the radio lol. (This guy has been around for some time...haha I did my research just now!)

Froze

I am happy to say my addiction with Chris Brown is officially over. I mean I'll always have a thing for him, if we cross paths again I'll still be that cool, calm, and collected girl that I always am...oh but once he leaves that's when the little groupie will escape my containment lol. You have to keep it together when your out in public...no one likes all the screaming and stuff it gets you no where. But anyway I like this song. I see he's trying to venture out and be different. But honestly it just seems like Rihanna is seeping out of his pores. It has my approval nonetheless.

Yes We Will =)

Why do I love Michelle so much...like the way I get all excited when I see her is the same feeling I get when I used to see Chris Brown. (no homo lol)I think it's so funny when guys say that. But anyways, I love the Obama's...I secretly want their girls to go to Spelman. I think that would be a wonderful thing =). So I will be getting that copy of Essence as soon as it hits the stands. January is looking up...shit '09 really.

What I am looking forward to before I turn 20...
1) Essence magazine
2) NOTORIOUS!!! (and I have a free movie ticket haha)
3) The Blueprint 3
4) my new body lol =) we've taken off for a couple of days tho
5) paying off my credit card bill...Lenox mall makes me act retarded
6) a priceless night that will start of my Spring semester just like Fall semester
*Twelve Nights is all I will say lol*

Was it funny...or am I just tired...

So I was on World Star Hip Hop and I came across this video. It brought back memories of that damn video. Two girls one cup was the nastiest shit I have ever been exposed too. Like the nastiest...but this reaction video was priceless... =)

I'm Bored....

It's 4:33 in the morning, Wednesday morning to be exact, and what am I doing? Sitting in Club Woody! I took the longest nap today in my college history and now I am up and going. So I decided to write. I finished my homework a couple of hours ago so I won't have to feel insecure in my classes tomorrow cause I will be prepared. This a euphoric feeling...and I love it. I just wanted to express how I am supporting my friend Jasmine in helping her to stay up and finish a project that is due at 2 p.m. and her ass is laying on the couch next to me in this conference room...doing what? Sleeping! But regardless I am a friend, and friends support. (and I can't sleep so I might as well)
I've realized this was a pretty pointless post up until now...my friend Vicki just gave me something to talk about. She just told me what she wanted for Christmas...and it was funny!! All she wants is to sleep in a bed. (and this isn't just any bed) I think I might help her have her wish. Why you ask? Cause once again, I'm a friend and that is what friends do...and hey...I might just get something out of it as well. I think it would be a wonderful ending to a very eventful semester!!

Happy Thanksgiving

Oh how I love this holiday. I love my Grandma's cooking. Being in the middle of nowhere in South Carolina is all worth it when your at my Grandma's house. "Grandma is love"
But, anywho I'm enjoying my cousin's company while I'm down here; I'm the only girl on my dad's side of the family in my little age group so I get to listen to my cousin's disgusting boyish lives. I must say it is the funniest thing ever. To meet all their little women and look each of them in the eye and think "you are so fucking stupid". One of my favorite past times. I secretly thank them for keeping me on top of mines though. With uncles and cousins all around me it is becoming very rare that Jasmine gets played. I see all the little messed up things they do, and yeah I know it's mean but their family so what can you do? They keep me abreast and yes I still mess up sometimes...you know everyone has their fuck ups every now and then...I'm not perfect lol!!! But I'm usually on top of mine, and have developed quite a craft in maintaining a certain amount of decency in the way I handle guys. It's a guy's world, so all I can do is be a woman in it, and I think I'm doing a very pretty job =)
But, anyway as I was enjoying my wonderful Thanksgiving dinner (I had three plates in 6 hours lol...I obviously enjoyed myself a lot!! I still look good tho so that's all that matters...booyahhh!! lmao) back to my story...I get a text from a certain somebody. Let me just tell you how I hate arguing through texts...I eventually get sucked in but I hate arguing...I don't have time. Call me back when you think about what you did wrong, and your in the right mind set to approach me....okay honey?!?!?! But, anyway once again he texts me with anger in his words. He's feeling some type of way about our status or lack there of. In the heat of the moment I conjured a return text and sent it to the wrong person lol. Embarassed!! But it was all good tho...we laughed it off and kept moving cause we just gots it like that lol.
Back to the situation however, it was entirely avoidable. I informed mister when we started talking that nothing would result from our friendship. Was I wrong? Absolutely not, I informed him from the beginning, I didn't lead him on or play little games at all. However, him being a "boy" he doubts my greatness lol. And what happens when you doubt my greatness you ask? You get shut down. Now he caught feelings and is mad cause I don't feel the same. I'm sorry mister I kindly told you before. I don't have time for stupidity. Not one bit.
Despite all this business I remain humble, I realize the tables could have been completely turned. So I approach every encounter with precaution. It's a cruel cruel world out there and we must act accordingly.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING again...dessert time (and yeah I made a cake from scratch...D.M.R.!!

Scared of Lonely

So I've come to a conclusion that I will pick what song is played on my blog. It's about me so you should listen to what I want to hear...RIGHT? It will change frequently though...like my mood!! But, this shit right here...this Sasha Fierce business goes oh so hard. To be correct..Scared and Lonely which you are probably listening to right now if the song hasn't gone off is from "Beyonce" not "Sasha" but I've decided this is my favorite song off the album. In actuality, her whole album is wonderful...the deluxe edition lol...it has ALL the songs. But Scared and Lonely touches me in a special way. Besides, having wonderful lyrics (I have a little more to say about that at the bottom in BLUE) that a lot of women can relate to, the music in the background is lovely. No, you probably can't play this in the club people might complain. Actually, if I threw a party I'd play it and dare someone to try me as I two-stepped in the middle of the floor by myself probably, unless one of my friends decided to join the fun! Oh yeah, and by the way I noticed in Atlanta people don't really two step. I know I don't do it down here cause I'd look out of place. Oh but I plan to start. Want to know why? Cause I'm D.M.R. oh yes!!! And I gets it in whoop whoop!!

Back to Sasha Fierce though...Onyx loves when I play it...we drive fast and smooth down 85 on the way to Lenox. I love great riding music and this is it. I even sing with it...not even caring that people are looking at me while we sit in traffic. I'm occupying myself; don't hate cause I can still have fun in traffic lol. Smoochez =)

But about those lyrics...I love them! I'm living the single life and I absolutely love it...LOVE IT!!! However, I don't want to be single forever. That's not me...I want to share my life with someone eventually; I love to share. So that's why I love the lyrics...they represent this little fear inside of me. Of being old and alone. I don't think about it a lot though...it's one of those things that haunts me like once every couple of years lol. Let me stop lying...I actually haven't had this though a lot because usually I'm practicing begin somebody's wife in some serious ass relationship. Enough of that business...I've wifed myself and I don't plan on getting a divorce anytime soon. =) But now I can relate whole-heartedly. I'm a be like Beyonce from now on...when he wants me he'll take action. You can't make a man do anything, when there ready they'll do it!! Go shawty =)

I'm on a Role Today

I've come to realize when I go hard on blogging I really gets it in. How many have I posted today? But,really being at Grandma's in the middle of nowhere lol (shouts out to Hopkins, South Carolina shawty!!) I've been online all day. I love my grandma though she's teaching me how to cook while I type at this very moment. She's prepping me to be a wonderful wife lol...as I prep myself to be an independent woman. Both are possible by the way. My husband will be the luckiest guy in the world...I have wonderful gifts for him ha! Cooking, cleaning, intelligence, looks, rhythm lol...the list goes on.
But anyway, I didn't get on to talk about that. I was checking out one of my classmates blogs Vividly Bland!! Go check it out!!

Vividly Bland

So a couple of days ago she posted a blog about sex and such, and coincidentally I read it today as I was in a discussion about the topic with my friends out here. I was telling them how sex is so taboo in the AUC. I mean people act like they don't do it, and there's all this secrecy and such. I hate it to the umpteenth power. I mean at home...I can revel in the fact that I actually like sex. If your close enough to me we've probably had a discussion about this. I really love it, and it's good for your health. What more could you ask for. But in the AUC oh no!!! If you proclaim this pastime and your a girl you're suddenly this self-proclaimed hoe. I just don't understand? I mean granted don't go jump into bed with every guy that comes up...your stuff should be special to you, and only qualified guests receive an invite. V.I.P. in this bitch!! Haha, but seriously, as long as you keep the invitations to a minimum, and you get tested. Wait a minute!! Let's repeat that GET TESTED. I can proudly proclaim I've never contracted anything, and I can attribute that to various forms of protection, a limit on my partners, and getting tested every six months. GO JASMINE!!! As long as you remain smart and sensible in your decisions, everything should be wonderful. I really wish the AUC wasn't so judgmental sometimes...maybe then I would ALWAYS feel like I was actually in college, instead of feeling like I'm still in high school sometimes. But whatever, I'm D.M.R. so I like sex it's fun, I practice it safely and you can judge if you want, but I know my place in life and it has nothing to do with you so ya...so there...boo-ya!!!

D.M.R.

Even though I love myself a lot, not to the extent of narcissism I decided to change my blog url. Narcissism is a hard word to spell honestly. It's one of those words you have to make sure is spelled correctly at all times because 1) everyone hates that person that tries to use big words to sound smart, and doesn't know one of two things; what it means or how to spell it lol 2) you cant find my blog because your getting frustrated on how to spell it so you just give up. No kudos to Jasmine!! So, I'm pretty content with my new one...WHY? Cause I am doing me regardless in all aspects of life!! =) D.M.R. people. I plan on starting a trend...watch me now!!

Move Your Hand

So I've seen some pretty wild things in my life. I've partaken in a some pretty wild things lol. But, this video right here absolutely amazed me. I was actually speechless. I would really put someone in the hospital for even attempting this on me lol.

McNuggets Lovin'

Life still fascinates me in the way that companies will make different commercials for different races. I mean on an economic standard it makes sense. I'm all for it make that money honey! But being on the black side of the fence I always see both commercials. I mean how many white people watch BET, Peachtree TV, or the CW? I don't know a lot. Walmart and McDonald's are notorious for this phenomenon. In between Keyshia Cole's life on BET the perfect little black family is able to have a wonderful cookout because Walmart has the best prices to buy food. You know what I'm talking about. But, McDonalds has topped the cake. I actually want to go get some nuggets now lol. I think I might make an actual song out of this...be prepared!!

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

So I consider myself as a pretty cool chick (it is at this moment that I realized my "c" button is starting to become hard to press...damn keyboards!!) but anyway I've labeled myself as being pretty down to earth and quite easy to get along with. I know some people would disagree...but we don't have time for those individuals so...as I move on. This year I've started making guy friends over at the "House". I just love when they do their little triangle thing on top of their heads it humors me /\ haha. But, anyway I've also found that it's kind of hard to keep some friends as platonic friends. I was talking to my friend about it, and it seems like sometime eventually one of my friends crosses the "friends line". I must admit I like attention...I'm spoiled but I can admit so it's ok lol. So it doesn't really bother me cause we still maintain our friendship despite any other words exchanged. But, this one particular friend is surrounded with a lot of concern. We shall call him Gifted and Talented lol. I'm attracted to him yes, but he comes with some baggage that I can't go into depth about. If something were to spark out of this another aspect of my life would be entirely messed up. DRAMA is engulfed around the whole situation. More than the two of us would be affected both directly, and indirectly. But, due to the fact that I'm in this I'm doing me regardless type of lifestyle right now, I'm going to proceed with this friend. Why? 'Cause I want too, and I'm spoiled lol. I know I sound vain in my explanations sometimes, but I do it all in the realization that someone just might shut me down one day. For that I keep a humble heart, a dirty mouth, and a smart ass mind to stay two steps ahead of these hoes!! Get at cha girl...whoop whoop lol!!

College Life doesn't get any better...

So I just realized tonight how hard it is to find my blog...narcissistic is kind of a hard word to spell lol...but anyway I had a WONDERFUL night tonight..let me not just tell you lol...goodnight!!!

Ready to beat a b**** down!!!

So I work at Victoria's Secret in Lenox and I love it our new store opens up on Monday come check me out with my pink sweats on!!! But anyways, there's this Russian girl that works there, and I'm all for diversity and stuff, but this chick is reckless. I know everyone has been in Vicki's and someone has asked you to get an Angel's card (which is bomb by the way lol) but this woman takes credit to the max, and to top her stealing my customer's lol she insulted Obama in front of my face. I've already been spoken to twice by manager for being belligerent, but how dare you insult my choice for president without any other explanation than you hate him. That is my pet peeve don't denounce my opinion if you don't have a valid reason why mine should be changed. Just don't do it. Then today she decides she wants to denounce every other religion because this girl walked by us with a Buddhist tattoo. Now I'm spiritual I'm actually trying to find myself right now when it comes to religion. I believe in God but I don't really identify with Christianity, but whatever I don't down other people's beliefs. This girl drives me absolutely insane with her opinions towards the world that I really just want to call immigration and deport her ass back to Russia. I'm glad I got that off my chest =) thanks for listening!!

Relapse

It's almost winter...it's cold as shit...and I'm alone lol. This is my second winter in college and my first one alone. I must admit I'm kind of missing the x-boy toy. Just a little. I was comfortable and it felt nice...but spaceships don't come equipped with rearview mirrors so I must keep trucking forward. There was a distinct reason I left and I can't relapse right now. I'm to stubborn lol. So, I'll just chill by myself lol...cause I'm such a cool person I'll keep myself entertained. A movie, a nice drink after a warm shower, and chill real grown like =). Gotta live it...cause I'm going to!!!

F.I.T.

So I've decided today that I am going to use this winter time to lose weight. I know I'm not really fat or overweight or anything of that nature, but I want to be smaller. I think it will help me control my stress too. I went had for like 3 weeks when school started running, and dieting and stuff but you know how that goes. I usually tend to lose weight when I start liking a guy lol. It's a little complex I have, but now I'm actually doing it for me and I think it will have a much better affect. I already admire myself a lot now lol...maybe too much but I just like to say it's good for my self-esteem =)...but just wait till I get everything all tight and tucked away...FIERCE!!! Then I can complete my tattoos cause I have about five more to go...TATTED UP lol.

Before picture

After picture to posted before my 20th birthday...that gives me 4 and a 1/2 months to put in work. Go Jasmine!!!

Slacker...

Somewhere in the midst of my new found free spirit I really need to get my shit together. Like really. I must admit being a relationship did keep me grounded and on top of my schoolwork. Now...you guessed it...I'm kind of slacking off. This is not in my nature so I must try to regain any hope of maintaining my lovely GPA. But honestly, I want to take next semester off, for many reasons; some more important than others. I feel like I need a breather, and due to my overloading last year I could actually take next semester off and still graduate Spring '11. This decision is sounding very economically worthy, and smart, but as everyone says; once you stop it' hard to go back. I don't know what the problem is but school is starting to lose it's interest. I've always been a nerd deep down inside, I love learning, I'm really curious about life, and I consider myself to be a pretty deep person. But, besides my creativity and dissidence class school is such a bore. Even psychology is not interesting, and the world knows that psychology is my passion. I'm supposed to be writing a paper that's due tomorrow at 2:00 but what am I doing; blogging lol. I need a boost, any suggestions?

What's a Girl to Do?

So, being that I am all about honesty I'm going to speak about something that I've been thinking about a little. Although I'm not looking for a serious relationship right now, everyone wants friends lol. Someone to chill with, not just jump into bed with, a cool person point blank. So I've been running into a couple cool dudes, some I still speak to, others hmmmm not really. But, one of them has been around for a little while and I expressed my interest in him. Pluto did the same, or so I thought at the time. Now I don't know what the hell he was saying he was interested in. But anyways, time went on we stayed in touch, and we still keep in touch actually. On a friendship level though as I have come to realize. I came to this realization after I kind of played myself, and little ol' Jasmine hates to get played lol. But, I'm always upfront about things and pretty good with using my female intuition =) and I knew another girl was taking up that time. It was o.k. though because like I said before I'm not looking for a serious relationship, but I hate being surprised, and cut off without explanation. So, obviously I was a little t'd but I pretty much expect guys to fuck up so I didn't sweat it. But, the other day we were talking and pretty much getting advice about outside relationships and the conversation turned back to us after I learned a little about the intenseness about his new relationship. Pluto said he still wanted to keep in touch despite him being in a relationship. I'm not a homewrecker but I consented to continue to talk to him, but now I'm having second thoughts. I did in actuality express some feelings for him prior to the conversation, and he did as well. But, now I'm settling. Why does he get everything I want, and I don't. Jasmine doesn't settle, or do I, and what do I want lol? It made me think if I have been settling all my life, and if I have what the hell is wrong with me. On a serious note, I have no idea what the hell I'm going to do. Either way I don't want to lose a friendship soPluto and I will hopefully still maintain our friendship cause I think it's important for every girl to have a guy friend they can talk to about anything, and I still feel like I can have that relationship with him. It sucks to be a complicated chick sometime, but who wants to be around someone that's too easy to figure out? I wouldn't want that... =)

Ru Sans

So today was my second date with Brittany lol (no homo) and we went to Ru Sans. I must openly admit I have never had sushi in Atlanta, but sushi has become one of my favorite things in the world. But, being the skeptic I am I don't like trying new places especially when it comes to raw food. So I went anyway, after hearing good reviews about it lol. Guess what? I am in love with Ru Sans. Even though I ended up not getting sushi everything I had was delightful. Even the little Japanese techno in the background was cool. I can't even begin to pronounce what I ordered, but in simple terms, I had chicken, shrimp, and rice lol. The best part hasn't even come yet; it was only $5.00. OMG!!! I'm always up for a good bargain and getting even more than I deserve =), and this is the place to get just that. I will be going back very soon, I can pig out for cheap, get great food, and still feel like I'm not gaining any weight. PERFECT!!!

Creativity and Dissidence

I have been taking the most wonderful class this semester called Creativity and Dissidence. If you go to Spelman you should definitely try and get into it before the teacher leaves. The instructor is Nawaal El-Saadawi and she is absolutely wonderful. I'm sitting in the class right now this second and I felt the urge to pull my laptop out and start writing. This class brings out my most inner thoughts, and feelings and I kind of wish I had this blog earlier to talk about it all. So back to today's class; I am a sucker for love and that is what today's discussion is about. I love being in love to be quite honest, more so than love itself maybe. I am a "fairytale thinker" as I have coined it. I am really passionate about love and life, and if you really sit down and listen to what I have to say you will hear it really quick.
But listening to our opinions and our statements makes me realize that women, black women as a whole, are really hurting. I've had this talk before about men, and women and it usually turns into an argument that I just end quickly. We, girls, talk and like to think that we have a hold on things, but we're scared at the fact that we might actually not have it.
Our professor started to talk about what our goal in life is...what we expect out of talking to guys, and I was stumped. I have no idea why I'm still talking to guys now if I have no intentions on being in a serious relationship anytime soon. I'm not sexually promiscuous so I know that's not the reason why I'm still talking to them.It really made me sit and think about what I really want? I DON'T KNOW!!! This class forces me to be up front and honest with myself, and I love it. I realize that life and love is a game and I feel that I'm just now starting to play my cards right. In a weird construed way I'm glad that I have been hurt in the past, only for the fact that they have only made me more sure of what I want, and more demanding that I'm going to get it no matter what.
Creativity and Dissidence has made me more aware of my surroundings and my inner self. I am glad that I have this class at this point in my life when I was transitioning from a committed relationship to the single life. Although I love being single, deep down inside I am petrified of being alone. But this class has taught me that in actuality, I am never actually alone. I don't need a guy in my life to make me feel complete. They should complement my being, not make it whole. My creativity and my uniqueness towards life and in it should remind me that I am not alone. You have to be a friend to yourself, before you extend yourself to anyone else. I am in the process of mastering this crucial point in life, and I am quite proud of my progress.

I'm Addicted to You

It's 2:33 in the morning and I already foresaw it but I'm really liking this blogging business. I see this being my new diary...not EVERYTHING...but damn near close to it. You may come to notice but I kind of like talking about myself...my friends and I struggle with this because we all pretty much like to do it. But it's cool now I have this blog. =) Being that this is going to become my new addiction I was forced to think of my other newfound and already had addictions lol. I kind of have a lot of them...they tend to become important at different points in my life.

1. BLOGGING!!
2. facebook...I finally got facebook mobile to work...we are in trouble world!!
3. Sprite...it tastes much better when it's from the fountain or a bottle...the
can is my last resort!!
4. dancing...I really love to do it and I'm quite good if you ask me lol
5. music...I love it point blank!!!
6. being in love/like...this is a controversial topic being that I'm single and all
but it never fails that I see a cute boy that catches my eye...that's where the
like begins...and love will not follow anytime soon hehe.
7. shopping...due to unforeseen circumstances (TUITION) this hasn't been on the top
of my list but when it is watch the fuck out world cause I go in hard.
8. texting...I have my QWERTY keyboard now lol...I'll probably have carpal tunnel
soon.
9. talking about myself...I have this magical power of always incorporating myself
in something lol.
10.I have two others...well one I enjoy I'm not addicted to it lol...and the other
yeah I'm addicted...I go through withdrawal when I can't have it lol...but life
goes on nonetheless.

I'll probably update it as I continue on with life =)

I'm Really Starting to Like Him

So I was already a fan of Kanye...but the songs I have been hearing recently are absolutely wonderful. Shout out to Jamila for putting me on this particular one lol. His songs have been making me think of a certain someone but that's not what's important right now. R.I.P. forever and a day!! But, back to Kanye I don't know how else to explain him. I'm always open for something new, and different , and Kanye is delivering it quite well. It took me a little while to realize that the static was part of the song...but like I said...I love different. This "Coldest Winter" business is the new ish...and even greater since I'm about to embark on a new journey thanks to Sister Souljah for writing a sequel to you guessed it..."The Coldest Winter Ever" HELL YEAH!!! "Midnight" here I come...come back soon to see how it all went down.

Security Step up Deep

Part two of my excursion today at Cumberland Mall started when we were about to leave. We were walking downstairs when we started to here this girl scream. At first, I was like whatever you know you always here people being loud but this chick was being absolutely belligerent. People were stopping and being the nosey person I am, as well as Brittany, we both stopped trying to get a good look. The girl was upstairs though so we really didn't see anything. So just like any other nosey person, we ended our way upstairs but everything was back to normal. A little mad we didn't catch any action we headed to the door again. But, ironically she was walking out the same door we were walking out off. (We knew it was her because security was right on her ass...yes) So what did we do? We followed, and partly cause our car was outside too lol...but we probably would have went anyway. So we walked to our car and saw Cobb County police arrive, and I knew we were in for a show. So we ended up where they were, conveniently parked the car, and watched in fascination. I'm pretty much one of the most curious nosey people you will ever meet lol...so yeah there we were, windows rolled down and everything. I was able to take some pictures so you could see the extremities that this girls had caused. I gathered through my research that she was probably shoplifting and used a black guy as a decoy lol. It didn't work cause everything was on tape. Yeah, we heard pretty much everything. After like 15 minutes we had got a little too comfortable and the security guard approached our car, and since I'm basically attached too my phone he thought I was taping it...haha. I must admit I was pretty scared...but I can get out of pretty much anything and he left us alone. It ended up getting pretty boring so we left, but I just love unexpected turns in life. It's not very often you see a white girl handcuffed in a cop car while a black guy is roaming around it calling up everybody to tell them what happened. Priceless!!!

Mmmmmm...heavenly

I always tell myself when I wake up I'm going to go straight to my room after class and do my work. It pretty much has never worked...or I get in my room and sit at my computer (perfect example...right now) but anyway today's excursion was to Cumberland Mall. Brittany had coupons there so what better way to satisfy our dessert craving then with a bun of gooey perfection. I am true believer that food can make any stress subside temporarily, and the Cinnabon did the trick. I really didn't care about anything else at the moment, we sat for a little and enjoyed everything that the bun had to offer. It was perfect...I love bonding time with my friends =). Last night Vicki Sec's and I had a little pow wow...and my hair is in Spelman effect lol. Thanks Vicki!! But back to the bun... couldn't finish it all so I saved it as I do with basically everything I eat. I can never finish a full meal. But, we both decided we wanted to explore the new Forever 21 there, and I a little sad I wasn't there on Friday when it opened because I feel like I missed out on a monumental event. I walked in the store and almost had an orgasm. It was an exhilarating experience. I love Forever, but usually there messy and cluttered and I hate shopping in those conditions. But this particular one was so big you could freely walk between the racks, and it was bright with the pretty little sparkly tiles that I love (when I build my first home I'm going to have those tiles somewhere in my house). The store was two floors and I feel in love at first sight. I even made a friend that worked there. I was happily eating some more of my cinnabon and Brittany was telling me a story. I wasn't really listening because I was engulfed with the goo on my fingers...I LOVE cinnabons can't you tell. But, this guy was apparently asking me if it was good, and I didn't hear anything lol until Brittany interrupted me and my bun lol. We both laughed cause I was basically caught being a fat ass, but it was all worth it. I love good, personal customer service lol. I know for a fact I will be a dedicated customer, despite this whole tax business on clothes. As a Jersey girl I don't think I'll ever understand. But I must say my excursion today was well worth it!!

Motherhood

I love my mother...so much that I want to be one. But, not now lol...I love not having harsh responsibilities. I told my mother she has about seven years until she becomes a grandmother. She told me to shut the hell up. But anyway, my friends and I have this conversation some times and I always get all giddy and stuff. I think I'm more excited about being pregnant than actually having the baby...although she is going to be the best thing in my life since sliced bread (and I'm having a girl by the way...go x chromo's). I want to be that pregnant woman that still looks good lol. You know the one that glows...like she actually glows. She really looks happy, ad has all the fly maternity outfits. Yeah, that will be me whenever I find a good father figure lol. (and I'm not looking now so no worries hehe) But this topic is actually on my mind because I spent Sunday afternoon with Ambriah's niece who is the most adorable baby I've seen in a while lol. It took five Spelmanites to give Jasira a pretty productive Sunday afternoon...but as you know it takes a village to raise a child so yeah it was all worth it. When my day comes I'll be ready...and it'll hopefully be expected. Remember, honesty is the key =) Until then BABYSITTING all the way shawty!!!

Life is back on Track...

So...this is what I ran into last night...hell yea. I remember when gas was this price when twenty dollars actually gave you more than half a tank. Actually twenty dollars almost fills me up and that is something truly amazing. This picture was taken in Stone Mountain unfortunately. I was at Ambriah's g-mom's house for dinner...yay...good times. But yeah I'm living in the moment and the fact that a trip to the gas station won't be so deadly to my wallet. Now we can all live happily ever after once again.

Euphoria

So it's been a week since Obama's been elected and I am still feeling the same exact way as I did last Tuesday. When I really sit down and think about it I start to cry. I was an absolute wreck on Tuesday; runny nose and all. When I'm in my car I always feel a necessity and blast Jeezy through Onyx's (that's my cars name lol) stereo, as I sway triumphantly as if I'm driving a Lamborghini haha (Onyx is the ish though...he's always there when I need him) . All these feelings are absolutely wonderful. If I could feel exactly what I felt on Tuesday I would have no need for any other of my sweet addictions in life haha...just kidding I'd never give them up. But seriously, I really had to think about all the people who fought for what the world experienced on Tuesday, and all the people who were really moved. I feel as a whole black America is just a little more optimistic about life and America, and that's a wonderful thing.



Rosa Parks sat so Martin Luther King could walk, Martin Luther King walked so Obama could run, Obama ran so we all can fly...

A Letter of Resignation... from Dating =)

So I guess this is the end of another "love" story in Jasmine's life again. I have been through two of the most serious relationships of my life and I am only 19. This evening marked the official end of number two, and I am not quite sure about how I feel about it. I take pride in the fact that I am a completely honest young lady and have the wonderful ability of being able to see multiple points of view in most situations. So back to my thoughts...I know for a fact that I am still in love with him and it pisses me the hell of that he decided to shut me out of his life. I didn't realize how hard he was struggling with being single because I was actually enjoying it but I guess it's not for everybody. I had intentions on enjoying the single life and hopefully one day maybe possibly getting back with him. (that might sound conceited and self-centered...but remember I am an honest being) But due to the fact he never plans on getting back with me I guess I shall have to continue on with life as I have been doing. I honestly feel that my life should be turned into a book or a movie or something, and I am quite sure you will agree with me at one point or another.

But back to my dilemma... I sought out some manly advice from a trusted friend of mine...I will call him Pluto lol... and he replied that my past love will probably not get over me. I don't know if this is a good or bad thing to be quite honest. I have analyzed myself over and over again trying to decide if I am actually in love or just love the fact that someone loves me. (the life of a black girl lol) I came close to a conclusion and it's sort of leaning for the worst. That is why I must stay single so I will not corrupt another young man's mind. The next time I get into a relationship...or a serious one for that matter...marriage will be in the near future.

Hi I'm Jasmine