Creativity and Dissidence

I have been taking the most wonderful class this semester called Creativity and Dissidence. If you go to Spelman you should definitely try and get into it before the teacher leaves. The instructor is Nawaal El-Saadawi and she is absolutely wonderful. I'm sitting in the class right now this second and I felt the urge to pull my laptop out and start writing. This class brings out my most inner thoughts, and feelings and I kind of wish I had this blog earlier to talk about it all. So back to today's class; I am a sucker for love and that is what today's discussion is about. I love being in love to be quite honest, more so than love itself maybe. I am a "fairytale thinker" as I have coined it. I am really passionate about love and life, and if you really sit down and listen to what I have to say you will hear it really quick.
But listening to our opinions and our statements makes me realize that women, black women as a whole, are really hurting. I've had this talk before about men, and women and it usually turns into an argument that I just end quickly. We, girls, talk and like to think that we have a hold on things, but we're scared at the fact that we might actually not have it.
Our professor started to talk about what our goal in life is...what we expect out of talking to guys, and I was stumped. I have no idea why I'm still talking to guys now if I have no intentions on being in a serious relationship anytime soon. I'm not sexually promiscuous so I know that's not the reason why I'm still talking to them.It really made me sit and think about what I really want? I DON'T KNOW!!! This class forces me to be up front and honest with myself, and I love it. I realize that life and love is a game and I feel that I'm just now starting to play my cards right. In a weird construed way I'm glad that I have been hurt in the past, only for the fact that they have only made me more sure of what I want, and more demanding that I'm going to get it no matter what.
Creativity and Dissidence has made me more aware of my surroundings and my inner self. I am glad that I have this class at this point in my life when I was transitioning from a committed relationship to the single life. Although I love being single, deep down inside I am petrified of being alone. But this class has taught me that in actuality, I am never actually alone. I don't need a guy in my life to make me feel complete. They should complement my being, not make it whole. My creativity and my uniqueness towards life and in it should remind me that I am not alone. You have to be a friend to yourself, before you extend yourself to anyone else. I am in the process of mastering this crucial point in life, and I am quite proud of my progress.