Sunday, August 1, 2010

Feeling Really Unappreciated...

I'm in a pretty fucked up mood. What makes it even worse is that I'll end up just having to get over it, until it happens again. This blog used to make me feel so much better. It still works luckily. Writing my thoughts down has ALWAYS helped me. Like keeping it in my head is physically painful. When I'm mad or hurt my head starts pounding. I never really experienced headaches, and that is probably why. I'm beginning to really see how much I overextend myself for the happiness of others. I do it ALL the time. I will inconvenience myself to make others comfortable. But no one ever does it for me. For once I would love to not have to worry about everyone else's happiness. Can someone go out there way for me. Can I get a surprise one day. Can I just really be caught off guard and really feel like someone took time out of there day to make sure Jasmine Charnelle has a smile on her face. I'm beginning to think that is something I will never see...because it's becoming obvious that I am the only one that can make me happy. now I just have to implement it.

What do you do?

When you feel like you've been treated unfairly, and the person doesn't even really seem to care. You try really hard to act like nothing's wrong. You keep my mouth shut cause you already know how the conversation is going to end. You already know the person doesn't seem to think that anything is wrong. It gets so absolutely frustrating. You know that it is unfair for you to sit in silence while the person keeps doing the same thing over and over again. A year is a long time, and honestly I am just getting a little fed up. I shouldn't have to sit with my lip hanging knowing that nothing is going to change. Something else has gotta give. I've been giving for too long.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

...I Missed You So

...exactly 4 months and 4 days later...I'M BACK!!! I missed blogging. Well kind of lol. Like I really love talking and I spit hot fire sometimes...but finding time to actually sit and record it all is nauseating. I tried to incorporate my phone to help me out...but I hate the small screen. So I have decided to implement other forms of yet tho cause my cousin's laptop doesn't have a webcam. When I do return home friends and I plan on documenting our life. (We think it's that amazing lol) I will continue with my rants about love and relationships...and you will see how that aspect of my life is treating me. =D But on the lookout Princess Jasmine is back...with a new do...a new outlook...but same love for life! YAY!!!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Make Love

I've been listening to this song all day, and I jsut realized it reminds me of an old-school song. That's prolly why I like it. When I'm in a chill mode I tend to play older music cause it's better, and honestly I'd slip this in my mix somewhere. The video is pretty cute, Kanye is in there suprisingly...wonder how Amber feels about this haha?!

Monday, March 2, 2009

Only in a Woman's World

Do you have a friend who suffers from this...I know I do. It is me. You know yhou have that one friend who is always falling in love, and you're so happy for her because she is elated. Until, that one day when she calls you crying, and your like OMG here we go again. LMAO!! It gets you everytime. My friends and I were just watching this commercial, and we all laughed becuase I knew everyone was talking about me. It's cool though, we all know and the world should know as well, that I'm a hopeless romantic. That's just me; accept it. But, for all those people out there who feel personally touched by this commercial in anyway, whether your the friend or the romantically indulged woman, this is for you. Only in a woman's world!!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Not Gonna Lie to Myself

As much as I want to suppress my feelings and act like it's not bothering me, Man is still running through my head. I've never been rejected before until like two weeks ago, and I don't like it one bit. It sucks lol. I realize he might actually be reading this but honestly I don't care because I've never been one to hide my feelings; he was the only exception. I have a habit of daydreaming. I tend to take things and turn them into beautiful little fairytales in hopes of living them out. Sad, naive, whatever you'd like to call it, yes I am a convict of it. I plead guilty. It's so much fun honestly lol, when your in class, or when your bored; that's when I tend to started daydreaming. Daydreaming however has a tendency to make you blend reality, and fiction. So when reality hits your ass in the face, you come crashing down to the ground in fascination and confusion. Like what the fuck?! I just don't understand.
So yeah, I've been happy nonetheless, I kicked the whole feeling incomplete without a "friend" to the curb a long long time ago. I just really liked, appreciated, welcomed the company lol. Got a little used to it; comfortable I should say, and everyone hates to be uncomfortable I sure do. But what was bugging me and continues to bug me is that I feel slighted. Like I didn't get a chance; but I realize that that mindset is from the heart of Jasmine. So I must admit it, because we all know the heart and the mind tend to think differently. The mind of Jasmine is saying he played you so move on; confusion in my little world.
Back to my chance, because I felt obligated to hide everything about me from him, I put on a front we'll call it, it wasn't me so how could he appreciate me when it was a front all along. Sucks doesn't it? Yes, it does.
Being in the predicament I'm in; being the one that got cut off if I could choose to move on I would, but I am an unideal person in an unideal world, so ideally that could never work. What is a girl supposed to do? My answer is be happy enjoy life, and don't wait for anyone. If a guy really wants you they will pursue you by any means necessary so don't get caught up in the ideal world you created for comfort.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Ms. Chelly...and those damn boys

So the song you hear now is from Ms. Chelly (that's her above lol). It's called "Took the Night" and I like it. Hot 97 always played it during the Rush Hour lol. It took me forever to find it, but I did and all is well haha. But yeah, it's a nice riding, party song I listen to it on the way home from work. On the way to the club, whenever I feel like getting excited haha. So yeah, anywho it's one of those songs where people either love it or hate it. It's good for certain occassions. The artist to be honest looks very second rate. Like I could of did this song; not a lot of word, very basic haha. But, do what you do honey!!

Now onto the fuck goes through their heads. Like really really? I'm at the point now where I just laugh at shit. There is absolutely no point in getting mad, or angry, and all riled up. Life is too short to be stunting your happiness. This girl right here comes with too many wonderful things to get mad over some boy who wants to play games. I'm not gonna front I still like you. Why I don't know...I really don't. Maybe cause I'm just so curious to see what could have happened between us, but yeah I can't put my time and effort into something that is not going to work out at all in my favor. What I don't get is that had it been any other dude I would have tossed in the trash way long ago. But I didn't, and now I'm getting fucked over.
Honestly, speaking I hate not being in control. That pretty much sums it up. I like to make the decisions and have everything go my way. So, I tried something new with him and took the passenger's seat to see if something different would happen. Now I'm mad, cause I didn't want this outcome but I have no say. I'M PISSED LOL!!!
still haven't gotten a call a text, an explanation or anything. Probably not gonna get one but it's cool after I allow myself time to just be mad, and hurt, and all the stuff your gonna feel when your emotions are involved I'll be good. That's one thing people have to know and understand, never should you stunt your emotions, it's very unhealthy to keep them bottled up. A week or so of venting is sufficient enough to release all the bad feelings so the happy ones can return.
The one thing about the whole situation I don't understand is why everyone else around me knew what the hell was really going on except me. Like honestly, if your having second thoughts about someone tell them, not other people who aren't in the situation. Personally speaking I hate bad surprises, hypothetically speaking I would much rather for a guy to tell me he cheated the to have me find out on my own. No he didn't cheat but the example helped portray my opinion on honesty between guys and girls. If you were to just be honest and upfront to me instead of your friends, I would have had more respect and empathy. But you chose to fill my head up with stuff you thought I would like to hear, instead of what you wanted to say. (Why am I talking straight to you lol...this is supposed to be a story) And then I can't even really stress the whole thing cause we weren't even going together. I want to, but when I really sit and reflect it's like damn ya saw each other how many times...talked didn't even look serious. Like damn, with all this shit we might as well had been dating. I feel like it would have made a little more sense; at least in my head. Anywho, yeah I think I'm a just take the loss even though I don't want to. I am not for making someone be where they rather not reside.