Thinking...

So you know how sometimes you wish you could just up and leave somewhere in the spur of the moment. Well I did it, and it was wonderful. So I report to you now from Rhode Island lol. It's cool up here, I could never live but it is so nice to just get away. I plan on having this option when I get older. Like just go away for a weekend with the boo, and just chill, party, whatever you feel like doing. So I'm practicing right now haha.
So on the drive up we played my Ipod. Most guys don't enjoy my ipod because there's not enough rap on it, but since I only listen to it in the car, I fill it with what I'd like to call "car music". You know the music you put on when your trying to get faded on the way to the club, the music you play in the car when you want attention (everyone does it so don't make a face), the music you put on when your real chill, and the list keeps going on I have everything for every mood, but it is only used for the car. Well that's what we listened to and the playlist filled with deep meaningful music came on, and due to the state I was in lmao I started to think. Now that might sound like a good thing to man, but when Jasmine thinks she has revelations, she puts everything into or out of perspective, and last night was a revelation. A really good one.
I decided to do some inner-defining and I was able to describe myself verbally. AMAZING SHIT!!! I realized that as much as I think I don't have a grasp on life I do I just allow other people to have too much say on how I feel and how I express myself. Well not really say, but an influence.
I'm done. I was never raised to tell people what I think they want to hear. I can;t do it especially now, I don't even know how to lie anymore. I'm always so afraid I'm going to lose out on something if I'm blunt, but honestly who cares. I don't anymore. This doesn't mean I'm going to become a bitch or anything, I just feel like I'm slighting myself by holding back. I was meant to be free, and free I shall be. (That sounded cute)
Well tonight I will be getting faded, enjoying my little mini-vacation then returning home tomorrow so I can get ready for work. This week will be fun, I'm starting my new job this week, first real day of class on Thursday, a tentative date (is it a date? don't even know lol...hmmmm??) and then Valentine's Day.
Speaking of which this is the first one where I don't have a Valentine, and I know how everyone gets all sour and evil when they see other people all happy and stuff, but honestly what for? Why can't you be your own Valentine, cause in actuality you are the only one that can actually make you happy, and will never fuck up. So why not treat yourself. Mani/pedi appointment for Jasmine lol!!
Shit is better when you play your cards right!!!